Talking shoes

I kept thinking about blogging last week and it just didn't happen. I was wearing what was to be my wedding shoes. After all, it's too late to return them to the store and there is no need for them to collect dust right? This got me thinking of the sayings about putting yourself in someone else's shoes... walk a mile in these shoes... other sayings .... if these walls could talk... What would my shoes tell you? If my walls could speak what would they say.

It's funny to me to think about the secrets and memories the "things" in our lives hold. I can put on a pair of shoes and have a streaming memory. I might put on a shirt and think, last time I wore this I was at Kings Island with .... It really is crazy. Some stories are to be shared and some are to be kept sacred just for me.

If I had blogged this idea a week ago this would not have been the content at all. I would have been blogging about moving on and finding new purpose in the shoes and creating new memories for them and myself. But, I'm doing that everyday. Ever day is a new memory. I get to make the choices of how I perceive situations and how I react.

Then today I discovered new music w/ lyrics that spoke volumes to me so pay no attention to the previous babble and soak this in:

Lovely
By Sara Haze

I don't wanna be hurt
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what gives you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing

I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me

I'm I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me

Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely

Let Go - Go Fish

Yesterday I went to a seminar on reemerging into the workforce as a entrepreneur, and low and behold I run into the ex and her wife. OK Mary Beth, Breathe. I wave at the wife and sit at another table. Although I know that I'm in a better place and I know that everything happens for a reason and all the other things I funnel through my brain.... I still had a rise of emotion. Breathe into it. I survived and was friendly and the heat in my head went away.

As I left I called a dear friend. This is, of course, what we girls do - call our friends when we are in need or have a great story to share.

She told me she had read a blog awhile back about the game of Go Fish. This game is famous! You have cards in your hand and you are trying to make a match. You ask someone "do you have an 8?" (only of course if you are looking for a 8). If the person you ask does not have an 8, your heart doesn't break, you don't feel dis pare, you simply follow the directions and "Go Fish".

Life is a game of "Go Fish". With G, she had some of the right cards, I had some of the right cards, but maybe not the most important cards. And I get to go fish. The pain is real, the heartache exists, but given the opportunity to "Go Fish" means I pick up another card. I add this card to my hand. That means I have something else to give away! I have learned a lesson. I have gained a skill. This can apply to friends too, lately I've been wondering what happened to certain friendships - maybe our cards don't match anymore.

Think of this in other aspects of your life... You go on a job interview. It feels good. Unfortunately, you don't get the job. You get to "Go Fish". You have just obtained some knowledge/experience that will help you the next time. And when you have the cards that an employer wants, you find a match and you get the job.

This is all well and good in theory. But how do we let go of the attachment? The feeling of hope, love, wanting, lusting, wishing, longing and more? How do we let of of those feelings that we have attached ourselves to related to whatever situation we are in. That my friend I don't know. For me, it has been Yoga, breathing, baking, friends, and lots of me-time. Also, changing my perspective. It's OK if I'm not the right person for a certain job or significant other, "Go Fish".

So Breathe
Let Go
Go Fish
Use the cards in your hand, add to them, and give them away to others!