I’m gay and I don’t eat chicken

I have known for some time now the stance that Chick-fil-a took on my sexuality.  Any oppression or ill will toward anyone because of ANYTHING tugs at my heart.  I spent most of last evening thinking of a response to the outpouring of both support and disgust for Chick-fil-a and those who did or did not eat at the establishment yesterday.

As a child into my pre-teens I went to church religiously, only listened to Christian music, and followed what I was taught as far what Jesus wanted for my life.  And, as of today, I don’t agree with organized religion but I do remember what the basis of the bible taught me.  LOVE. 

How do I love?  I will not defriend you on Facebook for eating at Chick-fil-a.  Why?  Because I’m your friend due to a connection we have made.  Sure, some of my Facebook friends maybe are old, new, acquaintances, yet you are still in my life.  I value your friendship, even if it means I don’t agree with you and for my own personal sanity I may hide some of your posts.  That is my decision.  This is not meant to be mean or malicious; it simply is to keep my own spirit lifted.

And I don’t eat chicken.  I don’t eat any animal products.  As a vegan I wouldn’t eat at Chick-fil-a anyway.   Throughout this ongoing saga I couldn’t decide what it was that really upset me.   The large number of chickens who are slaughtered daily or that people want to have a say in who I love and who I marry.  At the end of the day, I’m still alive and the chickens are dead. 

I don't want to come at this from a place of anger or hatred.  If I can speak my truth with love maybe you can  hear me more clearly.  I am gay, I want to marry the woman I love (or will love one day ;)).  I am vegan, I don't think any animal should be used for his or her body.

I ask you to think about what will you do now?  Will you choose to donate to an LGBTQ group in honor of this event?  Will you sit idly by and continue to bitch?  Will you stand up and make the change happen? 

What did I do?  I donated to GLADD

on the verge of a new year

I have to say that I am looking forward to the new year.  Not because 2011 was bad.  In fact, I'd say 2011 is a year that I will look at fondly.  I had a wonderful 2011.

• I met an amazing woman who I thought might be someone I'd date long term.  I enjoyed every moment I spent with her and look forward to moving forward in friendship as we both grow. 
• I started to really take care of my diet - tried raw, did a cleanse went mostly gluten free - learned ways to make my body feel good simply by eating right
• Joined FITE - best gym ever.  
• dropped 2 pants sizes (yes the last three bullets are kind of on the same page - but taking care of myself became a main priority in 2011 and it feels great)
• Went thru prenatal yoga training
• finished my 200 hr yoga training
• went to camp camp
• bought a VW bus for my bakery 
• Bakery expanded even more
• took more action toward animal rights
• found more ways to share my passion

OK, I know there is more.  I do love 2011 and all it brought - the good and the bad (and it definitely had it's lows)... I know 2012 will be even better.  More personal growth, more expansion at my heart center, more healing energy, more letting go, abundance for myself and abundance that I can share.  So i welcome the new year with light and love.

Online Dating

I have no shame, it is true. I have an online dating profile. I think that I probably even have a match.com profile from when I was in college. So if someone finds that profile from the late 90s of me seeking men.... well, have a good laugh.

So anyway, online dating is surely one of the most entertaining things I have done. I thoroughly enjoy the pictures people post, what they say about themselves and the occasional email I receive. And only once have I been caught off guard at a lesbian potluck when someone asked me if I was (insert screename here). I of course said yes, a few more awkward words were exchanged, then we parted ways. I had to later get online and find her to figure out who she was...

Anyway, I got my first pseudo proposal via email yesterday and thought I'd share. And maybe I should blog more about adventures in dating.... That could be fun!

"WOW ..... WOW ...... WOW

this gal would have to drop down on her knee' if she ever saw You out in a club, and eg for a chance to have a dance, with such a GORGEOUS Woman.

Oh I Envy the lucky gal thatwins your heart .........
what a GORGEOUS SEXY SMILE, and your Eyes are just so BEAUTIFUL they are simply Captivating, Highlighted by that Amazing Red Hair

You area Cutie .... actually Gorgeous .... I should say Drop dead Gorgeous !!!!!! "

I of course wrote her back thanking her for the compliment.

Question Everything....

I am nearly finished with the Sue Monk Kidd book "the Dance of the Dissident Daughter". It is as if it is speaking to me as I read it. It is a journey from her submersion in the patriarchal church and male symbolism to the realization to the Divine Feminine.

Reading the book has started, or should I say, re-started this want/need in me to question things. Like what is this symbol? What does it symbolize to others and what does it mean to me? Can I buy into some of this symbolism culture has created without buying into the patriarchal attachment. Why do we have these rituals... Who created these expectations?

We can always fall back on the men who wrote the majority of the history books, including the bible.

In Yoga we talk about "God" which sometimes strikes a chord with me. "God" is male. We all can argue that "God" is genderless but then think about the pronoun you attach when you aren't using the word "God". It is a male pronoun.

For me coming from an ultra religious background and then being able to find my own path - which meant choosing what church I attended to finding the real definition of feminism while in college and realizing that I was "one of them... a feminist".

So I am. I am sitting here at work questioning my own construct. Wondering if I maybe veered off a bit from my journey... but then again, what is my journey.

It feels good to question everything... including myself.

What is Camp?

Many people in my life know me because I was a camp director for 9 years of my life and also a camp staff member, camper etc. all with the Girl Scouts. I left the Girl Scouts for a new job and direction about two years ago. This week... I've been missing camp. I locked myself out of my house yesterday morning and while I was waiting on the porch for my roommate to rescue me I thought, wow if I were at camp I would have gone for a swim, put up the flag, sang some songs, ate breakfast, played with the campers and be in the camp office most likely joking around with the ad staff.

I also got word yesterday that the first camp I ever directed, Camp Tweedale, in Oxford, Pa is being sold. At first I was really sad but also understanding that the merge of councils and realignment that these things happen. This I'm sure was taken under much consideration and many decision makers took part in the process.

Then came the memories....

Tweedale is full of memories for me:

-at 22 I was an assistant camp director for the first time then director for the next two years
-crushed on my first girl, you know who you are :) and then also dated my first girl (and second, haha)
-had tan lines from the numerous friendship bracelets
-met people from all over the world which resulted in trips to Scotland, Holland and England and a post camp vacation in the Virgin Islands all with camp people.
-learned to play guitar
-dyed my hair purple
-lost the canoes in a storm... oops
-got a speeding ticket driving girls to the AT
-Jinx and I moved our offices outside for a day, yay for new office furniture being on wheels, haha
-late nights chilling in the Barn Circle with Kia (an instant summer best friend!)
-baby skunk getting stuck in the pool and spraying
-spider and ape building me an amphitheatre on my last day of camp, knowing that I was moving to another camp for full time employment
-screaming campers in the Forest Unit
-Jinx not wanting to call 911 with her accent
-taking the cook to the hospital
-tics

Oh soooo much more. This camp, Camp Tweedale taught me so much, how to be a leader, love, respect, more than I can put into words. But really these memories have nothing to do with the physical location of the camp... it has to do with the people.

And since it is my blog and I get to have my own soapbox here I want to say this. If we believe i camp so much and we are so sad to see this property disappear than what are we doing to keep what we do have? What are you doing to make sure your Girl Scout Camp experience is being continued for other girls? Are you volunteering? Are you donating money? Just because you love camp doesn't make it stay. Camps need money, volunteers, advocates, campers etc.

Here is my summary... camp is not just a location, it's the magic created by the community. It is simply the location we all met and where the magic was created. And, our memories won't keep the property running...

They may sell the property, but we'll always have our memories.

Letting Go

I have been thinking a lot about space and time, the things that we claim "happen to us", and continuing my personal growth. Personal growth has been big for me in the recent year or so. Asking myself, who am I, where am I going, is this how I want to walk through this world?

I feel like sometimes I have mild epiphanies, the other day was about creating space. I have never had a problem creating physical space. I can move over, empty a drawer, or clear something off the the table so someone else can be there, physically. But how am I making space in myself for someone.

Now, I think some of this is coming to me after reading "If the Buddha Dated". But truly, how am I making space inside me to allow others in. Not just a significant other, but people I care about. And am I proud enough of who I truly am to let them see the space within. Or maybe, am I comfortable enough about my journey, deeply rooted in it, that I feel comfortable sharing it with others despite reactions.

Today I think, letting go really means making space for newness. The more I let go the more light I can let in. For me this practice comes from meditation, noticing my thoughts and shifting my perception and my yoga practice.

I also want to share with you the things that make me happy, the things I'm letting in. Today the simple act of figuring out the google calendar and sharing it with someone very important in my life both expanded my knowledge and let her in to see a bit more of me. The perk is I get to see more of her as well.

Now to figure out mobile uploads and things for this blog.

Lack of Blogging

Oh my slacker bloggerness. Often times when I am away from a computer I think of all the great things I should blog about. When i get to a computer I'm usually distracted by looking up recipes, facebook, or email. I should make a point to blog.... and maybe I will. (That is my non committal commitment to do so)

I'm thinking I will focus on what makes me happy, what lifts me up. Bitching in the format just seems pointless, that's what facebook posts are for right?

What is making me happy?

First I have to admit that I have been frequenting the Shell station just a few blocks from work because they have a subway. Yesterday I got my vegan footlong... and today I did the same. (I'm refusing to grocery shop before I go out of town)

The woman who rang me up asked me "How are you doing today, you were here yesterday". This made me laugh a little, thinking "soon they'll have my credit card number memorized." The simple engagement in conversation made me happy. I told her I wasn't going grocery shopping before the holidays and she said she wasn't either. If she did her kids would come over and eat all her food. I guess it's subway for both of us for awhile. At least I'm eating my veggies!

Side note: I also laugh at "subway eat fresh". I often think, "is this really fresh?"

Ok I'll work on this... even get some pictures up in here!