The Dress

So today we did the preliminary dress hunt. I thought today would be super fun. I would try on fancy dresses and ultimately find exactly what I wanted. This is not what happened. I tried on lots of dresses. The first thing the lady gives me are undergarments to make me thinner. So these items are super uncomfortable, then I found that some dresses give me back fat.... or back crack.... wtf! Strange. Who knew that existed. Other dresses had crazy ass beads and shit on them. Not ok! Some are cut in such a way that my breasts look even bigger.... I didn't know that was possible. So... if you are still reading this you know that today was an unsuccessful dress shopping day. I was not happy with anything. Wedding dresses are not comfortable... Why is this? Men must make wedding dresses.

Rings

Well together at last... G and I are sharing the holiday season together, I'm just happy I got here, I was worried with the weather in Portland it might not happen. So far so good. I love everyday I share with her. Alas, in my true fashion I'm thinking about all the things we have to do for the wedding, so today we went to the jeweler who made my ring to figure out what our wedding bands will be. We picked them out, the deposit was made, and in a few days we will see a mock up of the finish product. They actually make our rings in wax prior to making them in metal! So cool!
Tomorrow, we are getting on the wedding "to do" list.

Distance

The thing I hate most is right now is the physical distance between G and I . I love that she lives in Portland only because I love Portland. I hate that she lives in Portland because I have to travel 3,000 + miles to see her. The distance wears on me sometimes. I think of all the things I want to tell her or laugh with her about... and she's not in close proximity to do so. By the time we get to chat on the phone sometimes I forget to tell her the funny antidotes of the day. Good news is that we will soon see each other, I can't wait!

The Food

For some reason I've been thinking about the food at the wedding. I don't know why. I'm not even sure how important it is. I don't remember what I ate at the last wedding I went to. I remember I drank a lot - not really what I want people to remember at my wedding - but I guess some weddings are like that.

So I did a preliminary search for vegan weddings and this is the best I got:

http://www.caringconsumer.com/feat/veganwedding/
http://blog.vegcooking.com/2008/11/vegan_wedding_feast_1.php

Mt. Echo - the winner! (We think)

dietary needs

I have been on the hunt for someone to make a vegan wedding cake. I have emailed a lot of people. I have had varying responses from those who don't know what vegan is... which makes me laugh. Using common sense, I feel if I owned a bakery and a potential customer made a request I would at least google it to find out if I could do it or not. Here is my favorite email:

Mary Beth,

I'm sorry NO I do not do a cake like that.
I don't use any animal fat but I do use vegetable oil,eggs & butter,
it just wouldn't seem like a cake with out eggs & butter.

I hope you can find someone to help you. I will ask around and if I hear of any one I will let you know.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

Thanks, and many blessings

Patricia

So... Patricia does not do vegan cakes... Apparently my cake really isn't a cake because it wont' have eggs and butter. She will never get my business!

Slowing Down

G and I have been engaged for two weeks... and the momentum has certainly slowed down. It's funny how we were so anxious to nail down a location,we did hours of research and yesterday there was no wedding talk at all. It was kind of nice. I think we are still leaning toward our first gut reaction of having it all at Mt. Echo.
The other day I had a small obsession with what everyone who stands up for us might wear... then I thought maybe we'd have no one stand up for us... but for now... it is wedding in the slow lane.

Working Backwards

So yesterday, I think to myself "I should see if I can make an appointment to get my hair done". I don't want to spend a lot of money in general, so I call the Aveda School (and Aveda is vegan). The woman asks me "what time would you like your hair done?" I figured an afternoon appointment if the ceremony is at 6:30. That makes sense. Then she proceeds to tell me that I should be working my day backwards - time everything....
So here is what I should be thinking about:
6:30 ceremony
What time should I be at the sight?
How long will it take to drive from the location I get dressed to the ceremony?
How long will it take to get from my hair/makeup to where I'm getting dressed? It could take 2 hours for hair, one hour for make up....
When do I eat?
When do my other girls get dressed and made up?
Can I do my own hair and Make up?
When will we do pictures... before the ceremony? after the ceremony? With G without G?
UGH!!!

No news.

I really don't have much to report. I looked at the Taft Museum yesterday over lunch. It is super cute. I would get married there, but I don't know if it is "The One". Then G found more places so i sent out even more emails today for locations. Geeze, when will we solve this mystery? I feel as though G and I are perfect for eachother, we are everything the other is not. We are exactly what we've always wanted in the other person, so in planning our ceremony we want the other person to be happy. She's concerned about what I want, I want her to be happy... and we both want to fall in love with a space and make it all happen. And it doesn't help that we have somewhat expensive taste... she's a foodie, I'm vegan, I want outdoors she wants classy... She's going to make some phone calls today! And the fun continues!

Getting what we want.

Getting what we want is trickier than we think, especially if we want to stay on budget. Where do we give? Is it on the location? Is it on the chairs? Is it on the guests? Is it on the photography? Or do we just make it happen and try to stay close to budget. Of course if we had unlimited amounts of money we would do it all. Women are the lowest paid of the two genders, put two together in a relationship and well... we don't have a shit ton of money. We don't even know if G will have a job when she gets to town....
Alas... We have made a list of priorities and are going to work with them... Crossing our fingers we can get what we want for an affordable price.

Location, Location, Location

This seems to be the most important thing right now. Where will we do this blessed event? I mean should we run away, get married, and forget the whole thing. I know our families would love to see us get married, I just am reluctant to feed into Corporate America Wedding Bliss. I guess I'll start looking at more locations and see what happens.

Where oh where should my wedding be?

So the search continues, just when G and I think we have our location pinned down we then find some magical hidden costs and fees that piss us off. Is there a hidden gem of a place in Cincinnati or Northern Kentucky? I don't know... I'm beginning to hate the Cincinnati Parks, so if my caterer leaves a dish and wishes to retrieve it I get charged at least $200. It seems the possibility is that if I pay my invoice, I might have a surprise invoice later... grrr. I also have crazy fees like 12% of all rentals in case of damage is non-refundable and 15% of the caterer bill has to be paid to the site. This makes me angry, like the $3.50/chair and $.85/put up and another $.85/take down place a $500 site clean up isn't enough as far as extra fees go.... ugh!

I'm not sure what to do with this - I guess we'll just pay the money....

the plans

Well as you know getting married is work. I'm beginning to wonder what people do after they are married - what consumes their time?

Anyway, I have started to contact some potential places and such. It of course is interesting because I feel that I need to be upfront about their business with us, I don't want to have a bartender show up the day of and wonder where the groom is and why there are two women w/o any men. Here is what I have learned.... Some companies have become wise and want the gay dollar. Being gay I looked in some gay magazines and online for "gay friendly" vendors. Here is the lesson: Just because they advertise in such places does not mean they have any experience with such ceremonies. Which of course for me means they get crossed off the list.

So I need gay friendly and vegan.
I also am debating on cost. We will spend whatever it takes to get what we want but at the same time... this is f*ing expensive, it's unreal. Can't I have it all at a reasonable price?

Engaged

My Girlfriend and I knew pretty quickly that this relationship would be the one that sticks. We are very open about our feelings and what we want in our future.

So it happened:

I brought her home to meet my parents over Thanksgiving. Prior to this we had talked about being engaged before the end of the year, but not having the money in our savings for some lavish ring and all that. Fast forward to my parents house on Thanksgiving evening. My mom showed me my grandmother's engagement ring which I was not pleased with, but thought that it's not about the ring, it's about our love. So I broght it to the living room to show my girl. She looked at it for awhile and then pulled out the ring I have wanted since we started ring shopping. THE PERFECT RING!

I then asked her to marry me...