the Whirlwind

Getting married certainly puts a new spin on a relationship, in the short amount of time that G was in town we experience quite a few emotions...

First, I'm angry at Delta right now and their rules. G's mother's surgery was rescheduled and I now won't be leaving town to see her, because she'll be here. I want to change my flight. My flight cost me $200, and the change fee is $150. Who wins here? Not me. And, they won't do anything on domestic flights for family emergencies....

Next... Appointments. Yes, we filled allot of our time together with meeting with potential vendors for our wedding. Is vendor the right word? I don't even know.

Let's start with the cake. Like I said in a previous blog I want it to be vegan. I want to be able to eat my wedding cake. So we met with one person how makes amazingly beautiful cakes. She was a sculpture in a previous life and, she makes great stuff. The taste is not great at all! This was discouraging. G was not happy. We searched and found another person... and bam... we had success. The Sweet Water Bakehouse makes amazing vegan cakes and a good price, nearly half the cost of the other woman. Her husband is vegan and when she makes non vegan cakes she at least uses a local farm with completely free range chickens. I like that she does not fuel factory farming.

Caterers - this is bad. G and I have exactly what we want in our mind. And I believe we have conveyed our wants and needs to the potential caters. I said EVERYTHING will be vegan. The only non vegan item will be chicken that will be free range and grilled separately. The salads, pasta, etc will be vegan. I got the first quote back from a potential caterer and it was full of cheese and some pepperoni, maybe there is something I don't know here, but I'm sure that these items are not vegan, pepperoni doesn't even fit for a vegetarian. But success is possible here, we had dinner at VegHead in Loveland on Saturday night and talked to the Chef, he might be able to be the answer to our catering dreams at a reasonable price. He buys locally, we'd support small business, and he knows what vegan means! I'm crossing my fingers to hear back from him with a proposal.

Photography - I will only pay $4,000 for photography if this individual will take pictures of me for the rest of my life. It's true, that is crazy to me. We met with some people and weren't terribly impressed and then, a camp friend offered to do it for free as a gift. Her work is better than some of the professional wedding photographers have been. The question is, do we want a second photographer?

Invitations - yes we can spend almost $1,500 on invitations. This is about 70 total invitations. And these invitations will be amazing, and organic, and recycled, but the person receiving it in the mail will most likely throw it out. I'm willing to pay under $100 on invitations, so we will continue the hunt. I hear Costco is reasonable.

Dress - Dresses are crazy to me. Paying hundreds of dollars for 6 hours of my life. Alas, I found a bargain through research and sales and have spent $53 total on my dress and it looks good. I just need to have it a bit shorter.

So where are we? We are on our way to planning a wedding that reflects us and is at a reasonable cost. Our fingers remained crossed, mine a bit tighter than G's. She'll be back in town in a few weeks and we will continue the search for perfect wedding items at a reasonable cost!

Money, Money, Money

I can't believe that people lay down tens of thousands of dollars on weddings. It is one day. If I had just $10,000 to spend in one day what would I do? I can tell you getting married probably would not be the first thing that comes to my mind. Well, maybe it would now that I'm engaged, but prior to that.... I would have to say no. I would maybe buy a car, pay off my student loans, pay off some debt. I'm trying to think of something I've always wanted and never spent the money on.... I would definitely spend the money on a vacation - a trip to Australia, maybe tour all of Europe.
So I'm trying to figure out why people spend all the money. Now I'm trying to imagine a wedding I've attended that I was so blown away that I thought "this is what I want". Nothing comes to mind.
G and I have really been toying with this whole thing. The expense alone is crazy. I think we run the risk of people judging us a bit if we don't go all out, but I imagine those people won't even make the guest list. We don't really like all that many people in general.
So why? Why spend the money on one day? What else could we do with the money?
Don't worry folks... it's still going to happen, maybe for a lesser cost though!

Getting what we want.

Getting what we want is trickier than we think, especially if we want to stay on budget. Where do we give? Is it on the location? Is it on the chairs? Is it on the guests? Is it on the photography? Or do we just make it happen and try to stay close to budget. Of course if we had unlimited amounts of money we would do it all. Women are the lowest paid of the two genders, put two together in a relationship and well... we don't have a shit ton of money. We don't even know if G will have a job when she gets to town....
Alas... We have made a list of priorities and are going to work with them... Crossing our fingers we can get what we want for an affordable price.

the plans

Well as you know getting married is work. I'm beginning to wonder what people do after they are married - what consumes their time?

Anyway, I have started to contact some potential places and such. It of course is interesting because I feel that I need to be upfront about their business with us, I don't want to have a bartender show up the day of and wonder where the groom is and why there are two women w/o any men. Here is what I have learned.... Some companies have become wise and want the gay dollar. Being gay I looked in some gay magazines and online for "gay friendly" vendors. Here is the lesson: Just because they advertise in such places does not mean they have any experience with such ceremonies. Which of course for me means they get crossed off the list.

So I need gay friendly and vegan.
I also am debating on cost. We will spend whatever it takes to get what we want but at the same time... this is f*ing expensive, it's unreal. Can't I have it all at a reasonable price?