- I met an amazing woman who I thought might be someone I'd date long term. I enjoyed every moment I spent with her and look forward to moving forward in friendship as we both grow.
- I started to really take care of my diet - tried raw, did a cleanse went mostly gluten free - learned ways to make my body feel good simply by eating right
- Joined FITE - best gym ever.
- dropped 2 pants sizes (yes the last three bullets are kind of on the same page - but taking care of myself became a main priority in 2011 and it feels great)
- Went thru prenatal yoga training
- finished my 200 hr yoga training
- went to camp camp
- bought a VW bus for my bakery
- Bakery expanded even more
- took more action toward animal rights
- found more ways to share my passion
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
on the verge of a new year
I have to say that I am looking forward to the new year. Not because 2011 was bad. In fact, I'd say 2011 is a year that I will look at fondly. I had a wonderful 2011.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Online Dating
I have no shame, it is true. I have an online dating profile. I think that I probably even have a match.com profile from when I was in college. So if someone finds that profile from the late 90s of me seeking men.... well, have a good laugh.
So anyway, online dating is surely one of the most entertaining things I have done. I thoroughly enjoy the pictures people post, what they say about themselves and the occasional email I receive. And only once have I been caught off guard at a lesbian potluck when someone asked me if I was (insert screename here). I of course said yes, a few more awkward words were exchanged, then we parted ways. I had to later get online and find her to figure out who she was...
Anyway, I got my first pseudo proposal via email yesterday and thought I'd share. And maybe I should blog more about adventures in dating.... That could be fun!
I of course wrote her back thanking her for the compliment.
So anyway, online dating is surely one of the most entertaining things I have done. I thoroughly enjoy the pictures people post, what they say about themselves and the occasional email I receive. And only once have I been caught off guard at a lesbian potluck when someone asked me if I was (insert screename here). I of course said yes, a few more awkward words were exchanged, then we parted ways. I had to later get online and find her to figure out who she was...
Anyway, I got my first pseudo proposal via email yesterday and thought I'd share. And maybe I should blog more about adventures in dating.... That could be fun!
"WOW ..... WOW ...... WOW
this gal would have to drop down on her knee' if she ever saw You out in a club, and eg for a chance to have a dance, with such a GORGEOUS Woman.
Oh I Envy the lucky gal thatwins your heart .........
what a GORGEOUS SEXY SMILE, and your Eyes are just so BEAUTIFUL they are simply Captivating, Highlighted by that Amazing Red Hair
You area Cutie .... actually Gorgeous .... I should say Drop dead Gorgeous !!!!!! "
I of course wrote her back thanking her for the compliment.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Question Everything....
I am nearly finished with the Sue Monk Kidd book "the Dance of the Dissident Daughter". It is as if it is speaking to me as I read it. It is a journey from her submersion in the patriarchal church and male symbolism to the realization to the Divine Feminine.
Reading the book has started, or should I say, re-started this want/need in me to question things. Like what is this symbol? What does it symbolize to others and what does it mean to me? Can I buy into some of this symbolism culture has created without buying into the patriarchal attachment. Why do we have these rituals... Who created these expectations?
We can always fall back on the men who wrote the majority of the history books, including the bible.
In Yoga we talk about "God" which sometimes strikes a chord with me. "God" is male. We all can argue that "God" is genderless but then think about the pronoun you attach when you aren't using the word "God". It is a male pronoun.
For me coming from an ultra religious background and then being able to find my own path - which meant choosing what church I attended to finding the real definition of feminism while in college and realizing that I was "one of them... a feminist".
So I am. I am sitting here at work questioning my own construct. Wondering if I maybe veered off a bit from my journey... but then again, what is my journey.
It feels good to question everything... including myself.
Reading the book has started, or should I say, re-started this want/need in me to question things. Like what is this symbol? What does it symbolize to others and what does it mean to me? Can I buy into some of this symbolism culture has created without buying into the patriarchal attachment. Why do we have these rituals... Who created these expectations?
We can always fall back on the men who wrote the majority of the history books, including the bible.
In Yoga we talk about "God" which sometimes strikes a chord with me. "God" is male. We all can argue that "God" is genderless but then think about the pronoun you attach when you aren't using the word "God". It is a male pronoun.
For me coming from an ultra religious background and then being able to find my own path - which meant choosing what church I attended to finding the real definition of feminism while in college and realizing that I was "one of them... a feminist".
So I am. I am sitting here at work questioning my own construct. Wondering if I maybe veered off a bit from my journey... but then again, what is my journey.
It feels good to question everything... including myself.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Letting Go
I have been thinking a lot about space and time, the things that we claim "happen to us", and continuing my personal growth. Personal growth has been big for me in the recent year or so. Asking myself, who am I, where am I going, is this how I want to walk through this world?
I feel like sometimes I have mild epiphanies, the other day was about creating space. I have never had a problem creating physical space. I can move over, empty a drawer, or clear something off the the table so someone else can be there, physically. But how am I making space in myself for someone.
Now, I think some of this is coming to me after reading "If the Buddha Dated". But truly, how am I making space inside me to allow others in. Not just a significant other, but people I care about. And am I proud enough of who I truly am to let them see the space within. Or maybe, am I comfortable enough about my journey, deeply rooted in it, that I feel comfortable sharing it with others despite reactions.
Today I think, letting go really means making space for newness. The more I let go the more light I can let in. For me this practice comes from meditation, noticing my thoughts and shifting my perception and my yoga practice.
I also want to share with you the things that make me happy, the things I'm letting in. Today the simple act of figuring out the google calendar and sharing it with someone very important in my life both expanded my knowledge and let her in to see a bit more of me. The perk is I get to see more of her as well.
Now to figure out mobile uploads and things for this blog.
I feel like sometimes I have mild epiphanies, the other day was about creating space. I have never had a problem creating physical space. I can move over, empty a drawer, or clear something off the the table so someone else can be there, physically. But how am I making space in myself for someone.
Now, I think some of this is coming to me after reading "If the Buddha Dated". But truly, how am I making space inside me to allow others in. Not just a significant other, but people I care about. And am I proud enough of who I truly am to let them see the space within. Or maybe, am I comfortable enough about my journey, deeply rooted in it, that I feel comfortable sharing it with others despite reactions.
Today I think, letting go really means making space for newness. The more I let go the more light I can let in. For me this practice comes from meditation, noticing my thoughts and shifting my perception and my yoga practice.
I also want to share with you the things that make me happy, the things I'm letting in. Today the simple act of figuring out the google calendar and sharing it with someone very important in my life both expanded my knowledge and let her in to see a bit more of me. The perk is I get to see more of her as well.
Now to figure out mobile uploads and things for this blog.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Talking shoes
I kept thinking about blogging last week and it just didn't happen. I was wearing what was to be my wedding shoes. After all, it's too late to return them to the store and there is no need for them to collect dust right? This got me thinking of the sayings about putting yourself in someone else's shoes... walk a mile in these shoes... other sayings .... if these walls could talk... What would my shoes tell you? If my walls could speak what would they say.
It's funny to me to think about the secrets and memories the "things" in our lives hold. I can put on a pair of shoes and have a streaming memory. I might put on a shirt and think, last time I wore this I was at Kings Island with .... It really is crazy. Some stories are to be shared and some are to be kept sacred just for me.
If I had blogged this idea a week ago this would not have been the content at all. I would have been blogging about moving on and finding new purpose in the shoes and creating new memories for them and myself. But, I'm doing that everyday. Ever day is a new memory. I get to make the choices of how I perceive situations and how I react.
Then today I discovered new music w/ lyrics that spoke volumes to me so pay no attention to the previous babble and soak this in:
Lovely
By Sara Haze
I don't wanna be hurt
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what gives you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right
Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing
I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me
I'm I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me
Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely
It's funny to me to think about the secrets and memories the "things" in our lives hold. I can put on a pair of shoes and have a streaming memory. I might put on a shirt and think, last time I wore this I was at Kings Island with .... It really is crazy. Some stories are to be shared and some are to be kept sacred just for me.
If I had blogged this idea a week ago this would not have been the content at all. I would have been blogging about moving on and finding new purpose in the shoes and creating new memories for them and myself. But, I'm doing that everyday. Ever day is a new memory. I get to make the choices of how I perceive situations and how I react.
Then today I discovered new music w/ lyrics that spoke volumes to me so pay no attention to the previous babble and soak this in:
Lovely
By Sara Haze
I don't wanna be hurt
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what gives you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right
Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing
I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am
I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me
I'm I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me
Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely
Friday, June 4, 2010
Let Go - Go Fish
Yesterday I went to a seminar on reemerging into the workforce as a entrepreneur, and low and behold I run into the ex and her wife. OK Mary Beth, Breathe. I wave at the wife and sit at another table. Although I know that I'm in a better place and I know that everything happens for a reason and all the other things I funnel through my brain.... I still had a rise of emotion. Breathe into it. I survived and was friendly and the heat in my head went away.
As I left I called a dear friend. This is, of course, what we girls do - call our friends when we are in need or have a great story to share.
She told me she had read a blog awhile back about the game of Go Fish. This game is famous! You have cards in your hand and you are trying to make a match. You ask someone "do you have an 8?" (only of course if you are looking for a 8). If the person you ask does not have an 8, your heart doesn't break, you don't feel dis pare, you simply follow the directions and "Go Fish".
Life is a game of "Go Fish". With G, she had some of the right cards, I had some of the right cards, but maybe not the most important cards. And I get to go fish. The pain is real, the heartache exists, but given the opportunity to "Go Fish" means I pick up another card. I add this card to my hand. That means I have something else to give away! I have learned a lesson. I have gained a skill. This can apply to friends too, lately I've been wondering what happened to certain friendships - maybe our cards don't match anymore.
Think of this in other aspects of your life... You go on a job interview. It feels good. Unfortunately, you don't get the job. You get to "Go Fish". You have just obtained some knowledge/experience that will help you the next time. And when you have the cards that an employer wants, you find a match and you get the job.
This is all well and good in theory. But how do we let go of the attachment? The feeling of hope, love, wanting, lusting, wishing, longing and more? How do we let of of those feelings that we have attached ourselves to related to whatever situation we are in. That my friend I don't know. For me, it has been Yoga, breathing, baking, friends, and lots of me-time. Also, changing my perspective. It's OK if I'm not the right person for a certain job or significant other, "Go Fish".
So Breathe
Let Go
Go Fish
Use the cards in your hand, add to them, and give them away to others!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Brick Walls
I am thankful that when I hit a brickwall a little over 9 months ago that it caused a huge crack and a ton of sunlight came in. I think this happens to people more than we care to share. In one moment everything we know to be true about our lifes changes. The direction we are going makes a ninety degree turn and we have no choice but to take a sharp turn. And so it happened.
It feels so good to reflect on life, the things that have come and gone, the things that still are and the things that are ahead.
How many times have we all hit brickwalls and thought that, dramatically, it was the end of the world. I say we hit it hard, knock it down, and step on over it. Life is what we make of it!
It feels so good to reflect on life, the things that have come and gone, the things that still are and the things that are ahead.
How many times have we all hit brickwalls and thought that, dramatically, it was the end of the world. I say we hit it hard, knock it down, and step on over it. Life is what we make of it!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Choices
Although I'm trying to free myself of being in control and what the future holds I also have to make decisions...
I have been in the market to buy a house for a little while now. This is a big deal. As much as I want to live in the moment and let life be what it is, I have to choose. I am torn between two houses so I'm going to blog out my pros and cons, is there really a better way to make a pros and cons list? I think not:
Two Family on Chase:
Pros
-very close (walkable) to my fav places, Northside Tavern, Sidewinders, Melt
-two family - a promise of part of my mortgage always being paid for
-adorable and trendy (is that two)
-great kitchens - the cabinets are great - good space and their are two
-can easily be a single family
-off street parking
-rental property - investment
-three full baths! if I have roomies this is bonus and a half
-hard wood floors on second and third floor
-current owner has yoga books and Buddha's (I know they don't come with the house) but a good vibe!
Cons
-very little yard (practically none - but this could be a pro as I have never mowed before in my life)
-looks like a slight leak from a drain spout
-costs more than the other house I'm looking at
-across the street from a rec center (high foot traffic)
-lower resale value
-my bedroom would be on the third floor - that's three flights of stairs for laundry
-kind of shares a wall with another building - it is the old firehouse now photography studio
Springlawn
Pros
-more of a family feel kind of house
-yard
-one car garage
-4 bed 2 full bath
-small front porch back patio
-cheaper than Chase
-Quite neighborhood
-wouldn't scare my parents to visit (pro or con not sure)
Cons
-anyone besides me would do off street parking
-kitchen cabinets are poop (well just not that pretty)
-carpet on second floor will eventually need replaced but livable now
I really like both houses for different reasons.... what to do????
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Journeys
I was reminded during my Yoga Teacher Training a couple of weeks ago that I am not the controller. I was reminded again today when I read a friends blog. As much as we try to control everything around us - well I'll speak for myself, I do this - I know I'm still not in control. I may think ok today I'm going to check xyz off my list at work and then BAM, I get a crazy deadline that has to be done and I stay late to accomplish the goal.
I have been on quite a few journeys lately. I have travelled. So far in 2010 I've been to Puerto Rico, Hawaii and Seattle. These journeys have been more than just vacations. I am continuing to work on me, letting go, moving forward. And just when I think I have it all under control the universe reminds me that I don't, and I forgive more, love more, cry more and take the next step.
During our Bhakti Yoga session we were reminded:
Be more humble than a blade of grass, more tolerant than a tree and respect everyone without expecting any respect in return
So remember, you wouldn't be here today if you hadn't walked the road you have been on. My path, my journey, has led me here. Here is good! I am not the controller.
I have been on quite a few journeys lately. I have travelled. So far in 2010 I've been to Puerto Rico, Hawaii and Seattle. These journeys have been more than just vacations. I am continuing to work on me, letting go, moving forward. And just when I think I have it all under control the universe reminds me that I don't, and I forgive more, love more, cry more and take the next step.
During our Bhakti Yoga session we were reminded:
Be more humble than a blade of grass, more tolerant than a tree and respect everyone without expecting any respect in return
So remember, you wouldn't be here today if you hadn't walked the road you have been on. My path, my journey, has led me here. Here is good! I am not the controller.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Year in Reflection
Ringing in the new year is always fun no matter how you do it. I've had the chill parties and I've had the all out parties, heck 10 years ago Martha and I had a crazy, crazy party.
Last night was wonderful, I went to a friends house for some amazing vegan goodness, dance party (we had an awesome dj), and even a drum circle! I have been nursing a cold so I rang it all in in style with lots of water. Go me.
As I sat on the couch after the ball dropped I told a friend how happy I was to have 2009 come to an end, as I have claimed it had been the worst year of my life. Then I looked around. None of the people I was with were in my life before 2009. I was in a room full of beautiful people who have made my life so full.
So the pros and cons, well the only con is the incredible heart ache that I felt (feel). So let's get to the pros:
I felt the most amazing love I have ever felt
New job
New apartment
Friends, old and new full of love and support
Found yoga
Sweet Peace Bakery - the beginnings of my vegan bakery becoming a reality
Finding myself (priceless)
Breaking up (a gift that is slowly being realized)
Friends, did I say that already?
There is so much more! So, in 2010 my journey continues. I think that maybe we have to feel extreme heart ache to realize true love. And I will be giving birth to my hopes and dreams!
Stay tuned... life is only getting better.
Last night was wonderful, I went to a friends house for some amazing vegan goodness, dance party (we had an awesome dj), and even a drum circle! I have been nursing a cold so I rang it all in in style with lots of water. Go me.
As I sat on the couch after the ball dropped I told a friend how happy I was to have 2009 come to an end, as I have claimed it had been the worst year of my life. Then I looked around. None of the people I was with were in my life before 2009. I was in a room full of beautiful people who have made my life so full.
So the pros and cons, well the only con is the incredible heart ache that I felt (feel). So let's get to the pros:
I felt the most amazing love I have ever felt
New job
New apartment
Friends, old and new full of love and support
Found yoga
Sweet Peace Bakery - the beginnings of my vegan bakery becoming a reality
Finding myself (priceless)
Breaking up (a gift that is slowly being realized)
Friends, did I say that already?
There is so much more! So, in 2010 my journey continues. I think that maybe we have to feel extreme heart ache to realize true love. And I will be giving birth to my hopes and dreams!
Stay tuned... life is only getting better.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
One year later
I have been dreading today for a few months now. I wasn't sure how I would react. I wasn't sure how I would feel. Would I be able to handle it?
A year ago today Gloria gave me a ring and a promise of forever. And as life does, things have changed and our "forever" is not in the cards.
So today I'm taking a moment to reflect. I'm taking the time to be thankful for everything that is in my life. I truly feel like I'm right where I am supposed to be. My journey has brought me here. Gloria may not be "the one" as previously thought, but she brought joy and goodness to my life and in leaving she has helped me become stronger and realize what I want.
I am thankful for so much... my friends, my chosen family and the love bubble, YOGA (yoga helps me let go and I've been needing that), family, friends (I know I said that but I have amazing people in my life who are full of love and support who are there to be a shoulder to cry on and a pillar of strength)
Those are only a few of the things I'm thankful for. Each day I have a choice. My words and actions are an extension of who I am. Instead of feeling anger toward where life has lead me and think about what could/would/should have been, I choose to walk in peace and love and welcome the newness of life.
Thank you friends!
A year ago today Gloria gave me a ring and a promise of forever. And as life does, things have changed and our "forever" is not in the cards.
So today I'm taking a moment to reflect. I'm taking the time to be thankful for everything that is in my life. I truly feel like I'm right where I am supposed to be. My journey has brought me here. Gloria may not be "the one" as previously thought, but she brought joy and goodness to my life and in leaving she has helped me become stronger and realize what I want.
I am thankful for so much... my friends, my chosen family and the love bubble, YOGA (yoga helps me let go and I've been needing that), family, friends (I know I said that but I have amazing people in my life who are full of love and support who are there to be a shoulder to cry on and a pillar of strength)
Those are only a few of the things I'm thankful for. Each day I have a choice. My words and actions are an extension of who I am. Instead of feeling anger toward where life has lead me and think about what could/would/should have been, I choose to walk in peace and love and welcome the newness of life.
Thank you friends!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Change...
I feel very fortunate in life to find myself in places of inspiration. Lately the universe has brought me the things I need without me asking....
I have amazing friends the have lifted me up and continue to do so as I take this new journey. Sunday, I went to Earthsave Cincinnati's potluck and the speakers engaged us on activism. http://www.veganvideo.org. Monday night was another vegan potluck centering on world peace and veganism. Tonight I was at a fundraiser for our local women's choir MUSE and a musician by the name of Holly Near was there. Everyone there was at least 20 years older than me and together we all say "I ain't gonna study war no more" and tears came to my eyes. I have been blessed to be surrounded with beautiful souls who are active in making change in the world. It's all helping me find my peace and activate my soul.
I have amazing friends the have lifted me up and continue to do so as I take this new journey. Sunday, I went to Earthsave Cincinnati's potluck and the speakers engaged us on activism. http://www.veganvideo.org. Monday night was another vegan potluck centering on world peace and veganism. Tonight I was at a fundraiser for our local women's choir MUSE and a musician by the name of Holly Near was there. Everyone there was at least 20 years older than me and together we all say "I ain't gonna study war no more" and tears came to my eyes. I have been blessed to be surrounded with beautiful souls who are active in making change in the world. It's all helping me find my peace and activate my soul.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Finality
Today I signed the papers to make the house G's. It has been quite the journey. I remember when I started this journey. When I first met G the love and the promise that just swept me away. This was to be something like no other. And in this journey I found great love. I found the ability to give of myself, things that I had never been able to give to anyone else.
I have also found that the song is right "sometimes love just isn't enough". Through my love I still could not make G happy. And I now know it is not my job to make her happy. Our happiness should not rely on each other - we should be happy with our without each other.
Knowing all of this doesn't make it easier, my heart still yearns for the love we once shared. Despite it all I know this path is the right one. And with selling the house to G I am one step closer to ending this chapter.
Hope Alone
Let's not drag this out
Everything's in motion
Though I've only ever loved you kind
And with devotion
Remember when I met you
You were leaving from the start
I thought one day you'd probably just come home
And break my heart
It's funny what you know
And still go on pretending
With no good evidence
You'll ever see that happy ending
You Looking for your distance
And sensing my resistance
You had to do your will
I had to learn the hard way
We were just an empty dream too big
For hope alone to fill
I know I'm a dreamer
So I'll give you that
Still I hope I'm more than just a place
You laid your hat
You're a land of secrets
Its only citizen
And though I paid my dues
I was never allowed in
And so I am a stranger
Especially today
Cause I get sad and lonely
And you get your way
You were looking for your distance
And sensing my resistance
You had to do your will
I had to learn the hard way
That we were just an empty dream too big
For hope alone to fill
Holding on for change
I know We never stood a chance
So I could only wait
And watch you slip right through my hands
You were always looking for your distance
And sensing my resistance
You had to do your will
I had to learn the hard way
We were just an empty dream too big
I have also found that the song is right "sometimes love just isn't enough". Through my love I still could not make G happy. And I now know it is not my job to make her happy. Our happiness should not rely on each other - we should be happy with our without each other.
Knowing all of this doesn't make it easier, my heart still yearns for the love we once shared. Despite it all I know this path is the right one. And with selling the house to G I am one step closer to ending this chapter.
Hope Alone
Let's not drag this out
Everything's in motion
Though I've only ever loved you kind
And with devotion
Remember when I met you
You were leaving from the start
I thought one day you'd probably just come home
And break my heart
It's funny what you know
And still go on pretending
With no good evidence
You'll ever see that happy ending
You Looking for your distance
And sensing my resistance
You had to do your will
I had to learn the hard way
We were just an empty dream too big
For hope alone to fill
I know I'm a dreamer
So I'll give you that
Still I hope I'm more than just a place
You laid your hat
You're a land of secrets
Its only citizen
And though I paid my dues
I was never allowed in
And so I am a stranger
Especially today
Cause I get sad and lonely
And you get your way
You were looking for your distance
And sensing my resistance
You had to do your will
I had to learn the hard way
That we were just an empty dream too big
For hope alone to fill
Holding on for change
I know We never stood a chance
So I could only wait
And watch you slip right through my hands
You were always looking for your distance
And sensing my resistance
You had to do your will
I had to learn the hard way
We were just an empty dream too big
Monday, August 24, 2009
Perspective
I'm now staying with my friend Martha. We have been friends since 7th grade and are no strangers to living together - we did so throughout college. Yesterday I was sitting on the couch and said "you know - next weekend I will not be married." Knowing that this coming Saturday is now what I call my "not wedding day"
Martha, who is going through a divorce said "I wish next weekend I would no longer be married"
So it's all perspective.
Martha, who is going through a divorce said "I wish next weekend I would no longer be married"
So it's all perspective.
Monday, August 3, 2009
This Crazy Life
Friday we decided to postpone the wedding. I can't believe it. I realized that something I've dreamed and planned for months can be cancelled in a mere two hours. This is probably the most painful thing I've experienced. The wedding has been postponed for reasons that are not my own so I will not share them. My hope is that we get past this moment and it makes us stronger. It's just crazy timing.
Yesterday was my last day with the Girl Scouts and today is my first day at my new job. So far the new job is great. They made me a vegan cake and I had coffee out of a rainbow mug. I will go home and pack for the next week or so. I'm not sure where I'm going as the house is not ready right now. I think I'll stay with friends for a couple weeks.
I'm trying not to let my sadness of cancelling the wedding affect me. Emotion is bubbling inside me but I know that the decision is for the best and I have good things ahead of me!
Yesterday was my last day with the Girl Scouts and today is my first day at my new job. So far the new job is great. They made me a vegan cake and I had coffee out of a rainbow mug. I will go home and pack for the next week or so. I'm not sure where I'm going as the house is not ready right now. I think I'll stay with friends for a couple weeks.
I'm trying not to let my sadness of cancelling the wedding affect me. Emotion is bubbling inside me but I know that the decision is for the best and I have good things ahead of me!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
New Job
I have a lot of new things this year. It is a bit overwhelming but good. In a Whirlwind I applied for a job got an interview, second interview and BAM yesterday I was offered the job.
I will now be the Campaign Manager for Community Shares of Cincinnati. I describe them as the "grassroots United Way". I'm not sure anyone reads this but if you do you can go to www.cintishares.com.
I'm so very excited, I will finish up camp and then go straight to the new job. I'm ready to grow and learn.... expand my horizons!
I will now be the Campaign Manager for Community Shares of Cincinnati. I describe them as the "grassroots United Way". I'm not sure anyone reads this but if you do you can go to www.cintishares.com.
I'm so very excited, I will finish up camp and then go straight to the new job. I'm ready to grow and learn.... expand my horizons!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
New House
I have been keeping it a secret.... and I don't think anyone really reads this. Here is my announcement to the world....
I bought a house!
It's 120 years old. Absolutely adorable, and full of work. We'll be working on this house forever! But at least we won't be paying for it forever.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Let it Go!
I think at some point in our life's we all have to let someone or something go. I struggle with this sometimes. I have the tendency to fight for people. I know they are good people. I know they have a good heart. At the same time. As mentioned in an earlier blog, it takes two to make a friendship work. Friendships are work and it takes more than one person to do the work. So I'm taking a deep breath. And I'm letting go. Letting go for me means to let go of expectations. I can no longer expect everyone to live up to the standard I set for them. First, it's unfair, and second, not everyone is as thoughtful as I want them to be. It's not worth it and it ruins my sense of peace.
You know, all of this is also once sided. I think it's interesting, and I know I'm not the only who feels this way. But, I am currently unhappy with a "friend's" actions or lack there of. But she doesn't know. So who is this hurting? It's me. *Deep Cleansing Breathe* Internalizing does not make me productive.
You know, all of this is also once sided. I think it's interesting, and I know I'm not the only who feels this way. But, I am currently unhappy with a "friend's" actions or lack there of. But she doesn't know. So who is this hurting? It's me. *Deep Cleansing Breathe* Internalizing does not make me productive.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Friends
According to the band Cake, FRIEND is a four letter word.
I have been thinking about friendship a lot lately. Because I often wonder, is this person really my friend. I mean I wouldn't consider the people listed as "friends" on my facebook or myspace really my friends. Not all of them anyway. So why are they there. What defines a friend? I have seriously had people come out of the woodwork expecting me to invite them to my wedding. OK, so if I haven't talked to you or seen you in 5+ years, I'm not inviting you. Just because you were a part of my childhood does not make you a part of my present. And all that said, that doesn't mean I don't like you, it just means we aren't really friends anymore.
I feel like my friends are people that I would call in the middle of the night for an emergency. I can count those people on one hand. So does that mean I invite five people to my wedding? ha ha. That would cut down the cost.
OK I have to invite the relatives. But a friend is someone I want to hang out with in my free time. Someone who wants to hang out with me. Notice the two way street. In the past I've been the invite everyone along kind of girl, not anymore. Now I'm the "you have a phone too, pick it up" kind of girl.
It's also funny as we get older, or maybe just me. I'm not interested in shallow stuff. I could care less about surface info. In college and right after it was great to have a million friends and have plans all the time, now I have close ones.
I just think it's funny how loosely we use the word friends in so many situations.
I have been thinking about friendship a lot lately. Because I often wonder, is this person really my friend. I mean I wouldn't consider the people listed as "friends" on my facebook or myspace really my friends. Not all of them anyway. So why are they there. What defines a friend? I have seriously had people come out of the woodwork expecting me to invite them to my wedding. OK, so if I haven't talked to you or seen you in 5+ years, I'm not inviting you. Just because you were a part of my childhood does not make you a part of my present. And all that said, that doesn't mean I don't like you, it just means we aren't really friends anymore.
I feel like my friends are people that I would call in the middle of the night for an emergency. I can count those people on one hand. So does that mean I invite five people to my wedding? ha ha. That would cut down the cost.
OK I have to invite the relatives. But a friend is someone I want to hang out with in my free time. Someone who wants to hang out with me. Notice the two way street. In the past I've been the invite everyone along kind of girl, not anymore. Now I'm the "you have a phone too, pick it up" kind of girl.
It's also funny as we get older, or maybe just me. I'm not interested in shallow stuff. I could care less about surface info. In college and right after it was great to have a million friends and have plans all the time, now I have close ones.
I just think it's funny how loosely we use the word friends in so many situations.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
My greatest disgust
One of the things I hate most about my job is that I sometimes have to be a hypocrite. I love camp! I love having kids at camp! I hate buying food for camp. I hate that I am vegan and have to feed these children rotting flesh. I hate that the meat and dairy industry subsidizes meat, dairy and eggs so much that I could never afford to feed the girls vegan chicken nuggets on the camp budget. It's cheaper to poison the children than to feed them a plant based healthy diet. GROSS.
Try as it might I have not been able to find bulk vegan chicken nuggets or bulk veggie crumbles. Will there ever be a day that costco or GFS or Sam's Club carries such things?
It's true, I hate that I use Girl Scout money to feed the meat and dairy industry.
Try as it might I have not been able to find bulk vegan chicken nuggets or bulk veggie crumbles. Will there ever be a day that costco or GFS or Sam's Club carries such things?
It's true, I hate that I use Girl Scout money to feed the meat and dairy industry.
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