The Dress

So today we did the preliminary dress hunt. I thought today would be super fun. I would try on fancy dresses and ultimately find exactly what I wanted. This is not what happened. I tried on lots of dresses. The first thing the lady gives me are undergarments to make me thinner. So these items are super uncomfortable, then I found that some dresses give me back fat.... or back crack.... wtf! Strange. Who knew that existed. Other dresses had crazy ass beads and shit on them. Not ok! Some are cut in such a way that my breasts look even bigger.... I didn't know that was possible. So... if you are still reading this you know that today was an unsuccessful dress shopping day. I was not happy with anything. Wedding dresses are not comfortable... Why is this? Men must make wedding dresses.